just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
