He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
