she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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