i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
