I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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