Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
