Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My bed smells like the plague
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