Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
