Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
