The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
