god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
not ubering you a puppy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
