I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
