Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
