come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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