I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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