when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize