Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dick very happy bro
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize