so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize