is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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