Soap is not a condiment
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize