u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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