Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
