And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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