first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you had me at cake vodka
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
