**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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