your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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