I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
