Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
