A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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