The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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