he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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