I should be sponsored by Trojan
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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