i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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