When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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