Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
