legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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