Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
