Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
