I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
