she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it because I queefed?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
