Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
