i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
