what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
