Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
