Im at strip club and am horny
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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