just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
