I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
