hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
