She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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