You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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