Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
