Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
