belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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