Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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