Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
