Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
