He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
