he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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