did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
