You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
