Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
