I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize