so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
