Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize