You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize