he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
