so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
