Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
