i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
