i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Randomize
